The Art of Birth - Samuel
After writing this entire event down, it has become apparent that Dion and I have different ideas of not only what happened but but how long it took for the different stages. I must say that his version might be more accurate due to the phenomenon of mommy brain. Not only does memory of events and details suddenly disappear, it is worse when you go through the flood of "mommy bliss". No pictures as this might be frightening. This is how it all went down:
(Dion) WARNING: This post might contain what some people consider "too much information" which might include some graphic detail. I'll try and keep the squeam factor down...
Babies know how to get your attention.
3:15AM June 11, 2011: Janet wakes me up with a terse "D!". I roll over and ask what's up. "I think my water just broke." "What?" I jump up and ask if she's sure. "I don't know." I told her to stand up and find out, so she does...
...and we find out. They usually say that the water usually breaks well into labor, but occasionally it breaks before labor begins, as what happened with me when my mom had me, but I digress...fluid was just pouring onto the floor and I'm going blank. Wow, this is really happening! I throw a towel on the ground to try and stem the spreading flood; good thing it was a full size bath towel. We call the midwife and tell her what happened. She instructs Janet: "Start wearing pads, and if you soak a couple through, then we're sure. You could be just urinating..." We soaked a bath towel and a sock, I'm pretty sure her water just broke, doc. We decide to try and sleep out the rest of the night to get some rest for the work ahead.
We wake up the next morning, a little early because I have a band practice to attend to. Janet is doing alright, she's been having mild contractions since about 4:00 that morning, the first ones that hurt since we found out about the pregnancy. We go out, go to practice, run some errands and get back to the house. Janet goes to lie down and we start to time the contractions. Earlier in the day I mentioned to my dad that Janet's water broke "let me know if you need anything" he tells me at the time. At about 2 in the afternoon, I get a call from him, at which he tells me "I'm down the street." So by this time, we had my sister and brother-in-law (who were visiting just prior to his deployment to Afghanistan), my dad, and my mother-in-law who lived with us at the time. Almost needless to say, Janet's labor pretty much stalled for the rest of the day. We proceeded to go out to dinner for my nephew's birthday. During the dinner and the walk home, Janet has intermittent contractions, but nothing regular. We pass the rest of the night uneventfully and go to sleep.
(Janet) Dion called the midwife who suggested several interventions. Dion spent the whole night timing my contractions and intervening. By this time Dion's dad had gone home. His sister and brother-in-law was still sleeping on our futon. My mom was in her room. I start to receive calls from my aunt saying that my mom is worried and that no doctor would want me to be home. They were misinformed that my water had broke for over 12 hours, little did they know that it has already been 24 hours. Even my cousin (RN) in California called me to express her concern. I had to reassure her that I am fine and that my midwife is well aware of my current status. The main issue is the concern for infection. However, even with the water broken, the fluid would flow down and out constantly. As long as nothing goes up the birth canal, the chance of infection is extremely low (unless something is there already). The issue with some practitioners is that a woman undergoing labor would get checked every hour, which means that every hour a new set of gloved hands (foreign objects) gets inserted into the birth canal, which would increase the chance for infection. Andrea informed me that if labor didn't pick up, I would have to go to the hospital in the morning for a wellness check just for them to see if there is still enough amniotic fluid.
The contractions starts off Sat early morning pretty mild. For me they felt slightly more painful than cramps. But I know that every women's cramps are also different. I would say overall, I have a high pain tolerance level. By Saturday late evening, I was exhausted and had to ride out all my contraction and getting more discouraged more and more as the contractions were painful but not any closer. I really wanted to have the baby before sending our brother-in-law away. But as much as I wanted that, it also kept my labor from progressing.
Sunday morning, Dion's sister and brother-in-law leaves. My mom goes to work. After consulting my midwife, we decided to try Castor oil instead of going to the hospital. We mixed one ounce Castor oil to one ounce orange juice. This worked quickly and I was laboring the rest of the time on the toilet. By 4pm, my contractions were unbearable. We called BBC and in midst of tears and contractions, begged to go to the office. Asya was hesitant, but agreed.
During this entire stretch, I actually had two midwives on several different on-call shifts. I started with Asya (sat early morning), Andrea (sat afternoon until sun morning. ) and then Asya again from then til delivery. Funny thing is that I had just met Asya that Friday during our 37th week prenatal visit. I remember right after the visit telling Dion that I would prefer not to have her deliver our baby. But she turned out to be the right amount of perfect for me and I couldn't have imagined a better person.
Asya checked me and I was at 5cm and BBC does not admit until 7cm. I spend the next two hours pacing the office as there was no way I was walking outside. I needed the safety of the office. I took microscopic steps but they felt like I ran a marathon.
(Dion) This was one of those times where I look back and want to pat myself on the back, but I know that it's more of giving thanks to God for the strength and ingenuity He gave me to get my exhausted, laboring, fully pregnant and potentially irate wife to baby-step in a circle in a 10' x 15' waiting room for two hours. My cousin Natalie, who arrived at the birthing center not long before we did, can attest that we were in some sort of zone. We had the honor of being my cousin's first live natural birth, this being after she got her RN. This is the result of a greater issue at hand (briefly discussed in The Business of Being Born) that I will leave for another post. After two hours of walking (we probably circled that room about 50 times) they checked Janet again and she was 7cm! Praise the Lord! Now we get to go to the tub.
They filled the tub with nice warm water and Janet got in and got as comfortable as she could get. It wasn't until now that I realized how much it helps to have an extra pair of hands during this time. Natalie was invaluable in getting wet cloths, water, and whatever else was needed for Janet and me. This allowed me to put my full focus on Janet, to be accommodating, reassuring, supportive, and encouraging. I would tell her during a contraction, "You know what to do. Slow, deep breaths. Iiiiiiiiin, and oooouuuut. Just like that. You know what to do." I would try to be as low-tone and as soft as possible, almost nonchalant. I guess I was trying to instill in her confidence in her ability to labor and birth. For us, it worked, except for that one time when a contraction started and I started to talk, and she put her hand on mine and shook her head. I closed my mouth that time.
I would want to say that this was the part where all my reading paid off. Now women, especially those who have given birth, please bear with me here as a non-laboring participant. After about 90 minutes, Janet entered what is called "transition". This is the last phase of the first stage of labor,where it gets really tough. The cervix is just about done opening over the baby's head (if it is a normal presentation) and the uterus is shifting gears to start pushing the baby down and out. Contractions get long and very close, and soon you have contractions on top of each other, starting as one is ending. This is one of the most trying times in labor, and also one of the shortest parts of the process, which is important to realize, because after this most of the (relatively) trying work is done. Janet would wince, hum, moooooaaaannn (which is better than screaming), hum, and then fall asleep. Repeat every two minutes for the next 30. The assisting nurse and I knew that Janet was in transition (though one should NEVER mention that to the laborer) and started to eagerly encourage her. We made a misstep here, because after one of her double contractions we said "keep it up, your almost there!" to which Janet asked, "how much longer?" We didn't know, and one must tread carefully with such a question, so we opted to encouraged her some more, hoping she wouldn't follow up on her question.
After two hours in the tub (with the last half-hour an awe inspiring show of strength, to which Janet said she all but cursed Eve), Janet said the magic words: "I feel like I have the urge to push." Someone's been reading, too. We got her up out of the tub and into our room. The midwife turns to Janet and says "push, but don't push too hard" and then leaves the room. It's just us, again. We tried a couple of positions, and Janet chose to kneel over an exercise ball on the bed, which was covered in a double layer of puddle pads. She was doing much better now, a little more talkative here and there, but still totally focused on the task. Now, I am a nerd, and I like science. I say this because despite many warnings from friends who've been there, after making sure that my wife had everything she needed, I was at the other side, looking for a baby. After about five contractions, I realized that I might not looking at my wife's hair anymore. I went out to the midwife's office and told her, "I think the baby's crowning." She then came into the room and started coaching Janet through the final contractions.
In the case of a normal birth, the woman does not need to be told when to push, she sometimes just needs to be reminded when to breathe. After a couple more contractions, I'm looking at a little face where I'm not used to seeing one. Asya then turns to me and asks "do you want to catch the baby?" "Uh, ok..." I position myself, and confident with my no-drop skills, a small, warm, slightly slimy body slips into my hands, soon followed by a couple of strong clear cries. I somehow didn't realize that baby would be this slimy, but who cares, it's finally here, years of talking, months of planning, and hours of marriage-bonding labor have brought us to this point. I get ready to call baby's name, then realize I don't know what baby is. I turn it over...him over; "Hi Samuel, welcome!"
