The Art of Birth - Samuel Edition

The Art of Birth - Samuel

After writing this entire event down, it has become apparent that Dion and I have different ideas of not only what happened but but how long it took for the different stages. I must say that his version might be more accurate due to the phenomenon of mommy brain. Not only does memory of events and details suddenly disappear, it is worse when you go through the flood of "mommy bliss". No pictures as this might be frightening. This is how it all went down:

(Dion) WARNING: This post might contain what some people consider "too much information" which might include some graphic detail. I'll try and keep the squeam factor down...

Babies know how to get your attention.

3:15AM June 11, 2011: Janet wakes me up with a terse "D!". I roll over and ask what's up. "I think my water just broke." "What?" I jump up and ask if she's sure. "I don't know." I told her to stand up and find out, so she does...

...and we find out. They usually say that the water usually breaks well into labor, but occasionally it breaks before labor begins, as what happened with me when my mom had me, but I digress...fluid was just pouring onto the floor and I'm going blank. Wow, this is really happening! I throw a towel on the ground to try and stem the spreading flood; good thing it was a full size bath towel. We call the midwife and tell her what happened. She instructs Janet: "Start wearing pads, and if you soak a couple through, then we're sure. You could be just urinating..." We soaked a bath towel and a sock, I'm pretty sure her water just broke, doc. We decide to try and sleep out the rest of the night to get some rest for the work ahead.

We wake up the next morning, a little early because I have a band practice to attend to. Janet is doing alright, she's been having mild contractions since about 4:00 that morning, the first ones that hurt since we found out about the pregnancy. We go out, go to practice, run some errands and get back to the house. Janet goes to lie down and we start to time the contractions. Earlier in the day I mentioned to my dad that Janet's water broke "let me know if you need anything" he tells me at the time. At about 2 in the afternoon, I get a call from him, at which he tells me "I'm down the street." So by this time, we had my sister and brother-in-law (who were visiting just prior to his deployment to Afghanistan), my dad, and my mother-in-law who lived with us at the time. Almost needless to say, Janet's labor pretty much stalled for the rest of the day. We proceeded to go out to dinner for my nephew's birthday. During the dinner and the walk home, Janet has intermittent contractions, but nothing regular. We pass the rest of the night uneventfully and go to sleep.

(Janet) Dion called the midwife who suggested several interventions. Dion spent the whole night timing my contractions and intervening. By this time Dion's dad had gone home. His sister and brother-in-law was still sleeping on our futon. My mom was in her room. I start to receive calls from my aunt saying that my mom is worried and that no doctor would want me to be home. They were misinformed that my water had broke for over 12 hours, little did they know that it has already been 24 hours. Even my cousin (RN) in California called me to express her concern. I had to reassure her that I am fine and that my midwife is well aware of my current status. The main issue is the concern for infection. However, even with the water broken, the fluid would flow down and out constantly. As long as nothing goes up the birth canal, the chance of infection is extremely low (unless something is there already). The issue with some practitioners is that a woman undergoing labor would get checked every hour, which means that every hour a new set of gloved hands (foreign objects) gets inserted into the birth canal, which would increase the chance for infection. Andrea informed me that if labor didn't pick up, I would have to go to the hospital in the morning for a wellness check just for them to see if there is still enough amniotic fluid.

The contractions starts off Sat early morning pretty mild. For me they felt slightly more painful than cramps. But I know that every women's cramps are also different. I would say  overall, I have a high pain tolerance level. By Saturday late evening, I was exhausted and had to ride out all my contraction and getting more discouraged more and more as the contractions were painful but not any closer. I really wanted to have the baby before sending our brother-in-law away. But as much as I wanted that, it also kept my labor from progressing.

Sunday morning, Dion's sister and brother-in-law leaves. My mom goes to work. After consulting my midwife, we decided to try Castor oil instead of going to the hospital. We mixed one ounce Castor oil to one ounce orange juice. This worked quickly and I was laboring the rest of the time on the toilet. By 4pm, my contractions were unbearable. We called BBC and in midst of tears and contractions, begged to go to the office. Asya was hesitant, but agreed.

During this entire stretch, I actually had two midwives on several different on-call shifts. I started with Asya (sat early morning), Andrea (sat afternoon until sun morning. ) and then Asya again from then til delivery. Funny thing is that I had just met Asya that Friday during our 37th week prenatal visit. I remember right after the visit telling Dion that I would prefer not to have her deliver our baby. But she turned out to be the right amount of perfect for me and I couldn't have imagined a better person.

Asya checked me and I was at 5cm and BBC does not admit until 7cm. I spend the next two hours pacing the office as there was no way I was walking outside. I needed the safety of the office. I took microscopic steps but they felt like I ran a marathon.

(Dion) This was one of those times where I look back and want to pat myself on the back, but I know that it's more of giving thanks to God for the strength and ingenuity He gave me to get my exhausted, laboring, fully pregnant and potentially irate wife to baby-step in a circle in a 10' x 15' waiting room for two hours. My cousin Natalie, who arrived at the birthing center not long before we did, can attest that we were in some sort of zone. We had the honor of being my cousin's first live natural birth, this being after she got her RN. This is the result of a greater issue at hand (briefly discussed in The Business of Being Born) that I will leave for another post. After two hours of walking (we probably circled that room about 50 times) they checked Janet again and she was 7cm! Praise the Lord! Now we get to go to the tub.

They filled the tub with nice warm water and Janet got in and got as comfortable as she could get. It wasn't until now that I realized how much it helps to have an extra pair of hands during this time. Natalie was invaluable in getting wet cloths, water, and whatever else was needed for Janet and me. This allowed me to put my full focus on Janet, to be  accommodating, reassuring, supportive, and encouraging. I would tell her during a contraction, "You know what to do. Slow, deep breaths. Iiiiiiiiin, and oooouuuut. Just like that. You know what to do." I would try to be as low-tone and as soft as possible, almost nonchalant. I guess I was trying to instill in her confidence in her ability to labor and birth. For us, it worked, except for that one time when a contraction started and I started to talk, and she put her hand on mine and shook her head. I closed my mouth that time.

I would want to say that this was the part where all my reading paid off. Now women, especially those who have given birth, please bear with me here as a non-laboring participant. After about 90 minutes, Janet entered what is called "transition". This is the last phase of the first stage of labor,where it gets really tough.  The cervix is just about done opening over the baby's head (if it is a normal presentation) and the uterus is shifting gears to start pushing the baby down and out. Contractions get long and very close, and soon you have contractions on top of each other, starting as one is ending. This is one of the most trying times in labor, and also one of the shortest parts of the process, which is important to realize, because after this most of the (relatively) trying work is done. Janet would wince, hum, moooooaaaannn (which is better than screaming), hum, and then fall asleep. Repeat every two minutes for the next 30. The assisting nurse and I knew that Janet was in transition (though one should NEVER mention that to the laborer) and started to eagerly encourage her. We made a misstep here, because after one of her double contractions we said "keep it up, your almost there!" to which Janet asked, "how much longer?" We didn't know, and one must tread carefully with such a question, so we opted to encouraged her some more, hoping she wouldn't follow up on her question.

After two hours in the tub (with the last half-hour an awe inspiring show of strength, to which Janet said she all but cursed Eve), Janet said the magic words: "I feel like I have the urge to push." Someone's been reading, too. We got her up out of the tub and into our room. The midwife turns to Janet and says "push, but don't push too hard" and then leaves the room. It's just us, again. We tried a couple of positions, and Janet chose to kneel over an exercise ball on the bed, which was covered in a double layer of puddle pads. She was doing much better now, a little more talkative here and there, but still totally focused on the task. Now, I am a nerd, and I like science. I say this because despite many warnings from friends who've been there, after making sure that my wife had everything she needed, I was at the other side, looking for a baby. After about five contractions, I realized that I might not looking at my wife's hair anymore. I went out to the midwife's office and told her, "I think the baby's crowning." She then came into the room and started coaching Janet through the final contractions.

In the case of a normal birth, the woman does not need to be told when to push, she sometimes just needs to be reminded when to breathe. After a couple more contractions, I'm looking at a little face where I'm not used to seeing one. Asya then turns to me and asks "do you want to catch the baby?" "Uh, ok..." I position myself, and confident with my no-drop skills, a small, warm, slightly slimy body slips into my hands, soon followed by a couple of strong clear cries. I somehow didn't realize that baby would be this slimy, but who cares, it's finally here, years of talking, months of planning, and hours of marriage-bonding labor have brought us to this point. I get ready to call baby's name, then realize I don't know what baby is. I turn it over...him over; "Hi Samuel, welcome!"  

A Fluffy, Delicious and

Healthier Pancake Recipe

For about 5 years I led a community outreach pancake breakfast at my former church in Brooklyn. Not only could we get a HUGE bag of premade pancake mix at the warehouse club stores for $5-$6, but we were able to get half of that back from the company for the feast. Just add water.

I loved the convenience of premade mix. However the ingredients are as shady as the price. I always felt guilty about giving it to Samuel. But there was nothing that I can do about it. One of those bags lasts forever and I was too frugal to just throw it away. So I waited until it was used up before considering other options.

I found a recipe that I was making from scratch every time but it too about it was too time consuming and used ½ cup of butter! Yikes. It was delicious but I needed to continue on the search for something better.

A month ago I found Bobs Red Mill has a pancake mix too. It is full of wonderful organic ingredients that I felt good giving to my kids. However at $5 a bag for 1/10 of the HUGE bag, it was getting too pricey.

With the help of pinterest and other google cross-referencing. I came across a recipe that I can play around with and tweak so that it would be healthier. I used as much organic ingredients as I had in my pantry.

 

Cast of Ingredients

Dry Mix 

2 cups Whole Wheat Flour (you can also mix some AP or Arrowroot if you want)

½ cup Ground Oatmeal

½ cup Wheat Germ

¼ cup Ground Flaxseed

1½ tbs Baking Powder

1½ tsp Baking Soda

1 tsp Himalayan Sea Salt

1 tsp Freshly Ground Cinnamon

Mix all the dry ingredients together. This should be stored in an air tight container and should last 4-6 weeks in the pantry. If you want to add sugar, about a tablespoon of any dry sugar of your liking will work. I chose to not add any sugar to my dry mix as I truly believe the sole purpose of pancakes is to deliver syrupy goodness to my mouth!

Pancake Recipe (makes 6-8)

1 cup Dry Mix

1 cup Milk or buttermilk

1 egg

3 tbs melted butter

I make this over my cast iron skillet. The melted butter also helps season my skillet. I just love it when things serve more than one purpose. I start on med-high (for me that would be a 6/7) and before I pour in the mix, to a med-low (4/5). Pour about 2 tbs of the pancake mix into the skillet.

When the bottom is a nice golden brown (about 3-4 minutes), flip and cook for about a minute on the other side.

This batter is a bit thicker, so you might not see all the lovely bubbles that indicate it is time to flip but they are there. Serve immediately with a mountain of syrup! YUM!

This recipe is insanely flexible. Let me know what variations you have tried.

Fast forward about two years!

So much has happened since our last post. Here is the summary.

Papabee graduated from Manhattan College in May. He was hired full time by his company June 13 but had it postponed two weeks because Samuel was born June 12th at 9:45pm at Brooklyn Birthing Center at 7lbs 5oz at 19".

Samuel was dedicated at 2EFC a month later.

Three months later, my mother moved out of the apartment and we are finally living on our own, with a 2 month old! Parenthood is crazy. I was blessed that I did not have a colicy baby but learning how to be mamabee and papabee to Sambee was  Survived about 11 months and found out that we are pregnant with our second!

 

Olive was born at home in water on March 2nd, at 2:10am. More on this in next post.

At 3 months, she rolls over for the first time and has been a rolling machine since. She was dedicated at 2EFC on April 14th, 2013. Right before Papa's birthday. She has been eating solids since 4 months. I had wanted to wait until about 6 months before trying anything. She would stare the food down as it was brought to the table and start smacking her lips and chewing as if she already had some. We waited until she was able to sit up on her own to start introducing the almighty avocado. It must be a small babies thing but she didn't take to it either. Paw paw (Janet's mom) gave Olive bananas. She LOVED it and would start grunting until she got some. That was her technique for all foods.

She started crawling at 5 months and is behind her brother for all sorts of mischief.

At almost 8 months, she starts taking her first steps and now at 9 months she is pretty much walking. We relocated to Laurel, MD. More of this in a future post also. Sorry, I am behind.

Everyday we live in the promise of who God is in spite of myself and the mess that exist.

Next post: Our humble homebirth, stay tuned. Love, Mamabee

Nesting

A work in progress, trust me...

Ok, so I let time get the better of me… and school, games, home, work, and laziness.

35 Weeks and counting! Our family now consists of four entities: Me, Janet, Baby, and “belly”, the thing that’s not quite Janet and not quite baby, but makes its presence known whenever it gets the chance. Some out of the way object would get knocked to the ground, or I would turn/back-up/lift my arm into belly’s way, which would make (at least) me very unnerved.

I am very proud of Janet. She is so strong and has been handling this pregnancy very well, especially in these physically trying weeks. She is pretty active, constantly working around the house to prepare for baby, staying on top of her diet, and has been pretty ambulatory without having much trouble. At our last midwife visit, all of her vitals and levels were spot-on. She’s very strong, and I am proud to be with her. I know she needs rest and shouldn’t be too active, but those who honestly say she shouldn’t be doing anything don’t quite understand pregnancy or the strength of the human body.

We are slowly but surely getting the house together for baby, though there is still MUCH that needs to get done. We finished painting the crib last week, a nice combination of teal and yellow if you ask me (though there is still some touch-up work to do). Funny thing is, after we finished painting the crib we realized that we might not need the crib for another couple months. We are planning on trying co-sleeping for however long, and someone handed down a bassinet to us. As for our plans for baby, I’ll save that for the next post.

We got a great amount of stuff for baby from the baby showers (thank you!) and so the house is inundated with baby stuff. I’m pretty sure Janet spends most of the day just sorting through the stuff! If there is any indication that another person will be living in our house, this is it. I honestly thought that baby and baby’s stuff wouldn’t take up much room since all of it (including baby) should be small. However, everywhere you turn in the house there are baby clothes, diapers, crib parts, toys, books, etc. And all the storage bins are full! I hope we get it in some sort of order before baby comes, because once baby comes, things will stay as they are. I know I need to apply more effort in the cleaning process though (remember laziness?) before the nesting Janet bites my head off.

March Madness

Hallo, Baby!

Gosh, it's been more than a month already! Time flies so fast, and school, chores, and life can really take over one's life. Janet and baby are doing well, she is at 25 weeks and 3 days with no sickness or anything adverse. They say that baby is about 1 lb 9 oz now, and is in great shape. Baby likes to let his/her presence be known, and gives Jane some pretty big kicks (I'm kinda not looking forward to Janet at 36+ weeks; two people in one body can definitely get crowded). She actually perplexes me sometimes, because when baby isn't kicking she taps her belly to make baby kick. I tell her that she should enjoy the calm times, cause baby chooses some exotic times to kick, like 3AM!

We started getting baby stuff in the past couple weeks, and it really gets us excited that soon they will be used by and for our child! We got a crib...let's talk about the crib. We saw this crib while shopping in IKEA. It was a really nice, sturdy, Dr. Seuss-looking crib, and we both liked the design. The only issue with this crib was that it came in two colors: baby-periwinkle, and blind-me pink. So one can say we were a little hesitant in buying one immediately seeing as we wanted the gender to be a surprise. We decided to wait until May/June to get a blue one and paint/decorate it so that it could work for either boy or girl. Turns out that was a good plan since they decided to discontinue the pink. One week later, we are back at IKEA and we decide to look through the "as is" section, and we find a bunch of pink cribs - unsold in their original boxes with no defects - for 63% off the original price. Really? Long story short, we bring home a blind-me pink Dr. Seuss crib (it sounded cooler when it was a blue Dr. Seuss crib). Anyone who would be willing to paint this crib another color, gimme a call.

Janet shared with me the quote of the year, and the honor goes to my mother-in-law. Turns out in Chinese culture there are many things pregnant women cannot eat for the sake and safety of the baby, some of which are founded in superstition. Like Janet can't eat lamb, because it could give the baby epilepsy; or frog, because it will give baby bulgy eyes. I'm waiting for a report on these before I make a conclusion. Anyway, so Jane is hanging out with her mother and her mother's friends, and mom-in-law is complaining to her friends about all the things Janet has the nerve to eat, like mango and pineapple among things. Then she says something along the lines of "...and you know what else she dares to eat? CHOCOLATE! Next thing you know the baby's going to come out black!" *Insert foot in mouth* Really mom, chocolate might make the baby black?  Take that, biology! We had a really big laugh out of that one, and so did mom when she realized that I may have had a role in determining the color of our child.

Life may be a little hectic trying to take care of our current lives and preparing for the new one that will be joining us shortly, but God has blessed us with help from our family and friends, a peace that passes all understanding, and the joy that comes with marriage and the prospect of becoming parents! There's some more to talk about, but I'll save that for the next post, which will be soon. God bless!

Half-way there!

 Yay! Good-bye Bellevue, hello Brooklyn Birthing Center, and hello baby!

As of today, Janet is 20 weeks pregnant out of a 40 week term. We're half-way there! Much has happened since the last post (which is why I'm not so good at blogging) so I'll try and catch everyone up.

First, we were able to transfer from Bellevue Hospital to Brooklyn Birthing Center for prenatal care and the birth. BBC is a facility that primarily specializes in pregnancy and childbirth as well as some basic OB/GYN care.  We were originally planning to birth out of Methodist Hospital, but after watching an enlightening movie called "The Business of Being Born" we decided to go with the birthing center instead of the hospital. Why not a hospital? Short answer: pregnancy and childbirth is seen as a medical condition that needs to be remedied as opposed to a natural process that needs to run its course. I would recommend that movie to anyone interested in having children of just in health issues in general, but I should warn you that the movie can be graphic, as there is live births and women parts. Anyway, the people at BBC are really cool, and we are looking forward to giving birth there!

Second, baby is making his presence known! Janet has been feeling the baby kick for about two weeks now, and I felt my first kick this past Saturday! It's so weird and exciting to feel something moving in Janet's tummy that's not Janet (weird that something's moving, exciting to know that it's our baby!). Baby is about as long as a banana, and should be able to hear outside the womb soon, so I'll have to start playing guitar for baby!

We'll be having our next sonogram next week, so hopefully there will be some really good pics to post!

Here's looking at you, kid!

 

16 weeks! (that's the head in the middle, below and to the right of the word "PROFILE")

The baby is saying Hi!

By Dion

Beautiful, isn't it? Looking back on what we had to go through to get this mediocre picture, I think I'll store this experience for my child if they ever they say we do nothing for them.

We were scheduled for our first sonogram at Bellevue Hospital on January 13, for 10AM. Before this, the only indications we've had of Janet's pregnancy was a blue line on a special stick, a doctor's note, Janet's naps (which may not be a great indicator, I know she likes to take those), an acute case of "morning" (read: avocado) sickness, and a heartbeat check via fetal heart monitor at 12 weeks. Forgive me for saying this, but oh me of little faith needed to see something to assure me that everything the books were telling us was happening correctly.

I must say that I am blessed to have Janet as a wife. All those worries of morning, afternoon, evening, night, eating, walking, sitting, home, work, and whatever-else-may-come sickness were unfounded in Janet. For some reason, her family is immune to it. The only case we had to encounter was when we did California rolls with avocado; Janet almost threw up her belly button. So the worst we have to worry about is Janet missing her nap, she gets really tired and upset.

OK, back to the hospital. This was our first time to the hospital, so we arrived early, around 9:30AM. We jumped through the hoops (registration, financial, etc.) and got to the sonogram reception desk minutes to 10. We sat down and got to waiting...

and waiting...

and waiting...

1:00PM. In the past three and a half hours, eight people are called, none of them us. A few came back out and were waiting for their next appointment arrangements. I walk over to the receptionist and ask how much longer. She says we're next...riiiiiiiiiiiight! After another hour, when Janet and I were just about at our wits end, we hear "JANET SMALL". It was like winning a raffle.

We get into the room and the sonographer wastes no time setting up. Before we know it, there it is - a baby on the screen, and what a baby! He (general term, gender isn't known yet) put the sonographer to work, twisting, turning, flipping around, grabbing at his feet, sucking his thumb, I didn't think he had that much room in there. He even took a few gulps of amniotic fluid and turned waved at us while we were watching! Awesome, God, truly awesome.

After about half an hour, we come back outside and wait for our next appointment slip. Mind you, by this time, Janet and I are running on breakfast, one yogurt and polly-o string cheese. So we head downstairs to the bakery to get something light and head back up and wait. Janet then realizes that all the other people who went in and came back out came with pictures, but we didn't. So I go over to the receptionist and ask about pictures and she tells me that while we were downstairs Janet was called again, and that she'll go and talk to them. So we wait and are called again, and we go in.

This lady was different from the first. Our first sonographer was courteous, made a lot of conversation, and was very helpful. This lady was none of the former. For reasons unexplained to us, Janet had to take another sonogram. This time I made sure to ask for pictures. Now here is my gripe: during both sonograms, we saw detail. The spine, the bones, the pumping heart, fingers, toes, and blood vessels. Heck, we saw enough to clearly see that baby was drinking! Details. We ask for pictures and what does the sonographer give us? Two of the above, the one above being the clearer. And when people look at it they ask "where's the head?" I think they should give lessons on good pictures to send home with the parents.

All in all, our experience at Bellevue was a nightmare, especially with that last sonographer, and we basically vowed never to go back there. We are looking for another center, one better and closer to home. We are going to check out Brooklyn Birthing Center in hopes of finding a better atmosphere to work out the rest of this pregnancy and to bring our child into this world. However, all that trouble and waiting was worth the few minutes of meeting our new child and seeing this miracle that God is knitting inside of Janet. Praise the Lord!